New Beginnings...
As a now 27 year old graduate of the University of Arizona class of 2016, I can wholeheartedly say, it has not been easy. So many things have gone wrong since graduation due to family problems that I (in my opinion foolishly) agreed to help with, but I have put my life on the longest pause. Something that was suppose to be temporary has turned into almost 3 years of my life because family members were irresponsible with their life choices and I rapidly agreed to help pull them out of but that's not how they decided it was going to go and instead of moving forward I've moved back in my life by 13 years. My health has deteriorated from stress and my body has suffered the most and my mental health has been put at it's worst from anxiety. Finding a job has been difficult because I've been out of experience for 2 years and my car was repossessed due to- two family members that have taken advantage of my kindness. I had a different and positive outlook of my future while I was in school, with jobs that I looked forward to and a heart full of hope... I now wake up everyday feeling hopeless, depressed and completely negative. Simple places of work will not hire me because either I'm too inexperienced or lack skills or the famous one- I lack skills and also I am overqualified because of my bachelor of arts degree. Everything I believed in, that hard work and patience would pull off but instead I ended up back where I started and despised because I wanted a better life and I thought that higher education would be the key but it's not.
If I could turn back time, I would make the decision to not help anyone and for once put myself first before anyone... "Blood is thicker than water..." However people forget the real words of that saying is, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."This was from the bible. The translation of this is, the choices you make in life leave you bound to people you made promises to despite the familial ties you have that want to be first choice in your life. Sometimes you have to put family second rather than first. It's a difficult decision but you make a commitment or had.
However, don't let my pathetic "oh woe is me" story stop anyone. Sometimes I need to vent and I don't know how else to do it except on this blog that I hope helps anyone that might be in the same situation as I and let you know that you're not alone. Please do not give up your dreams and hope... Maybe there's a reason why we had to be put back at the starting line... Maybe we missed something that is vital to out future that we completely looked over because we were so desperate to finish. Keep trying. The moment you open your eyes look at this day as a positive blessing (not religious related if you prefer). Look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud the things you are great at that give you joy. From making the best coffee or tea to what you can share with the world. Just understand that I believe in you... And as long as someone out here in the world believes in the good you will do without harm, then you are never alone.
If I could turn back time, I would make the decision to not help anyone and for once put myself first before anyone... "Blood is thicker than water..." However people forget the real words of that saying is, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."This was from the bible. The translation of this is, the choices you make in life leave you bound to people you made promises to despite the familial ties you have that want to be first choice in your life. Sometimes you have to put family second rather than first. It's a difficult decision but you make a commitment or had.
However, don't let my pathetic "oh woe is me" story stop anyone. Sometimes I need to vent and I don't know how else to do it except on this blog that I hope helps anyone that might be in the same situation as I and let you know that you're not alone. Please do not give up your dreams and hope... Maybe there's a reason why we had to be put back at the starting line... Maybe we missed something that is vital to out future that we completely looked over because we were so desperate to finish. Keep trying. The moment you open your eyes look at this day as a positive blessing (not religious related if you prefer). Look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud the things you are great at that give you joy. From making the best coffee or tea to what you can share with the world. Just understand that I believe in you... And as long as someone out here in the world believes in the good you will do without harm, then you are never alone.
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